Wake Up Call

Now seriously: when someone will publicly tell you that Kevin Federline is more fit to be a parent than you are, you've got to at least take a day off and ask yourself whether or not they're right.

That's not piling on or anything: as I sit here in my rented house with my middle-class life, I'm just thinking what I would do if somebody -- like a judge -- told me that I was less fit to raise my kids than K-fed. That'd be the end of the sleepwalking, I assure you.

The only other thing I'd add to that is that Britney clearly has no responsible adults in her life. If I got out in public doing half the stuff she does, even people who hate me would intervene because all that stuff is so obviously perpendicular to living past the age of 29.

Britney: seek help. Go to Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, CA and tell them you don't know how to help yourself. Or go up to Simi Valley and check in with Cornerstone Community Church -- I'll bet they can set you straight. You need help, girl -- your boys need you to get help.